TV Go Clone

7:00 Adverts on the BBC?

Debate about the introduction of television adverts on the BBC's domestic channels.

8:00 Ananse (spider man) 1&2

Ghanian movie and SFX w'z'rd Rockson Emmanuel creates a movie with extremely extreme special effects and a Spider-Man that kills weird people that he believed that they were villains.

Length: 123 mins. Winner of 7 Oscars.

9:00 The Mayor of Sheffield

Posthumous documentary charting the life of the unofficial Mayor of Sheffield, Okie Dulo, aka The African. Expect big booming laughs, beaming smiles, some very naughty boys and girls, generous use of the word 'heavy' and a smattering of late nights. RIP Okie D....

10:00 Sweet SuXXXess

Poorly-made sexual rip-off of Vin Diesel's XXX mixed with a phrase.

Vin Diesel stars in this crappy porn movie starring a fuck load of stars who are next in line to masturbate.

Length: 156 min. Not suitable for people under the age of 18.

7:00 Terrible Old Schedules You've Probably Never Heard Of

This week: MBC (Massive Broadcasting Corporation). "The MBC Network, as it was called, was formed in 1926 as a radio network for people in a massive coma, delivering football, dance music from 80 years in the future (2006ish) and comedy. MBC became a television network after the 2345346th reformat masde by the network, in 1946. MBC ended broadcasts in 1997, after not paying the license fee." This particular schedule was as broadcast on November 6th, 1975.

17:00 - Darwin the Merman's Inappropriately Scheduled Cartoon Show; 17:30 - MBC News Desk; 17:40 - Kiddystare 75; 18:05 - Doctor Vas; 18:50 - Less of Me; 19:30 - MBC News Desk; 20:15 - Fish Hooks (from 2010); 20:45 - Bliss Control; 21:15 - Wine and Rum (sitcom, episode 45); 21:50 - Alexander Agricola's Jokes; 22:00 - Gunk Iller; 22:30 - Televised Hanging; 23:40 - Hotel Babylon; 0:10 - Legend of the White Fucker; 0:45 - MBC News Desk; 0:55 - Closedown.

Some really interesting schedules here, aight. We'ev got 3 News Desks, Kiddystare, Disney's Fish Hooks (they used time travel 4 dat) and sum mor tuuuuuuuunz. The evening from 8 45 is nice, featuring a joke show funded by John P. C. and Susan B. J. T. W. K. F. J. W. C. F. Whigley Never on Time Foundation (the same funders of The Completely Boring British People it Old Costumes Drama Hours) and later followed by an action show produced by Mic Graves. A late night 1995 yoof show follows at 11-40, aight, followed by another action dramedy.

8:00 Terrible Old Schedules You've Probably Never Heard Of

New series og theme nights replicating the television schedules of yesteryear. Today, we'll take a look at Victoriana Television - "Unbeknowst to many, a crude form of low-resolution television was developed in the late nineteenth century. A cable service was set up to allow residents of small parts of London to have the advantage of entertainment piped into their very own homes... Victoriana, a business run jointly by a couple of music hall impresarios, the Physics Department of University College London and a smattering of civil service mandarins, was set up to provide the service, which ran for nearly thirty years before being wound up at the outbreak of the First World War." Schedule originally broadcast on July 20th, 1895.

Six o'clock - Four-Year-Old Playing With A Toy Car; A quarter past six - Closedown break (hand over to BBC Two, in 2013); Seven o'clock - Sound Thrashings; Half past seven - Ally Sloper's Merriment Interlude; Eight o'clock - a news bulletin; A quarter past eight - A commercial announcement - CARBOLIC SMOKE BALLS; Twenty past eight - Mr. Maellard's Merriment Interlude; Half past eight - A Question of Riding Around on a Pennyfarthing; Five to nine - another news bulletin; Nine o'clock - A debate programme; A quarter past nine - Late film: Libidinous Enticement; Five to ten - yet another news bulletin; Ten o'clock - Kindly retire to your bedchamber (handover to BBC Two).

Your attention, please! Viewers are respectfully reminded that tonight's filmed entertainment, entitled "Libidinous Enticement" features graphic scenes of bare female ankles, and, as such, is not suitable for women, servants, or gentlemen of a nervous disposition. Yours etc, The Management, Victoriana

9:00 ??????? ???? (The Peas of Wonder)

A Kyrgyz cartoon nobody understands. Producer: ?. ????????

10:00 A Touch of Frost

David Jason narrates hilarious CCTV footage of the elderly dying due to the crippling cost of basic utilities. Tonight's highlight is a 82 year old grandmother who expires slowly in a puddle of her own semi-frozen piss while clutching the corpse of her beloved Yorkshire terrier.

7:00 I'd like to be a celebrity; How do I get into here?

I can grow some tits if nec.

8:00 OLE! OLE! OLE! OLE! WE ARE THE CHANS! WE ARE THE CHANS!

Ridiculously badly made Champions League news show styled after a Game King game.

9:00 Who Wants to Suicide?

Game show for the suicidally competitive.

10:00 Hertz Aflame

Painstakingly realistic animated series set in a Hertz rent-a-car in Essex.

4. Donald talks a blazing customer through the full range of insurance policies. Simon and Mike carry out a routine damage inspection on a molten vehicle.

7:00 Chicken Wizard Tee Hee Hee

Paranormal poultry fun. Producer Wun Dollar

8:00 Borat's 2013 Television Experience

(in co-operation with Khabar) It's the return of fictional Kazakh television reporter Borat Sadgiyev with a more accurate depiction of Kazakhstan - incluiding accidents with the national anthem.

9:00 Stargate: Daventry

O'Neill and the team find themselves in an urban hell - the locals are barely coherent savages, and mock Teal'c for being, in there words, "a fuckin' jaffa! Wot a cunt.". Can they retrieve the DHD and make it home, or will Carter have to get her rat out to placate the angry natives? Here's hoping!

10:00 Box Tick Showtime

An Englishman, Irishman, Scotsman, some women, some people from other countries and a few homosexuals stare at a TV camera for 20 minutes each to make sure that the fair representation guidelines are being met.

2: The Scotsman. Dougie sits on a stolen sofa with his legs wide open whilst eating a deep-fried mars bar.

Not suitable for Tories or readers of the Daily Mail.