TV Go Clone

7:00 Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are?

In this episode, serial plagiarist and professional Swansea shit-stick Steven "Twatwaffle" Semmens takes us through the vast body of work he claims as his own, including The Harry Potter series and various pilfered stories from the one person on the Internet you probably should avoid trying to upset - David Thorne. Includes interviews with a multitude of made-up friends.

Hopefully we'll see a few candid photos of his girlfriend (unless she's another figment of his imagination - hope not, she's quite tasty)

8:00 ///THE VARGSTEIG PROJECT///

Bizarre sci-fi movie from the USA. Runtime: 183 mins.

Warning: this movie causes: brain damage, gonorrhea, diarrhea, death, rape, rape and more rape.

This movie will not be broadcast on BBC One outside of London. If possible, the OFCOM will not allow the airing of this movie.

9:00 OBONSAM BESU (DEVIL MAY CRY) - 1&2

hanian movie featuring mysterious demons breathing fire out of the TV and entering it, devils and over 1245690278345068723508672304 8567230572308567234086723405 9682435906830458967034956834 5826972038412039458230 special effects.

Length: 1452 minutes Rating: 14 out of 5 stars Country: Ghana Producer: Ninja Movies Productions Actors: 2574234 of 'em

10:00 MONGOLIA!!!

Weird documentary about Mongolia.

7:00 IFFID GWNFFYN GOOLIEGOO

Bizarre old schools programme from Wales.

8:00 The Truth Behind Euroipods

Fascinating documentary set at the Euroipods factory in O'zbekiston about the endless lies about Euroipods. EUROIPODS - FAST SHIP - 100% FREE!

9:00 Horizon - Kitchen Ceilings: '76 - '83

Hot on the heels of the Bafta Award-winning 'Corby Trouser Press Through The Ages', Keith Chegwin and Philip Schofield return with another Horizon special, detailing the definitive history of Artex ceilings in suburban late 1970's Great Britain. Riveting, I shit you not.

*Features so much Artex you'll fucking shit yourself.

10:00 The Completely Boring British People in Old Costumes Drama Hours

Block of two dramas with completely boring british people in old costumes sipping tea from their own couches.

The Completely Boring British People in Old Costumes Drama Hours is made possible in part by the John P. C. and Susan B. J. T. W. K. F. J. W. C. F. Whigley Never on Time Foundation.

7:00 The Towel Lift

Chris Tarrant presents a gaggle of desperate unemployed men from the North-East as they attempt to woo lucky ladies by performing utterly pointless and increasingly demeaning feats such as the six-man daisy chain, the human centipede and, for the grand finale, the naked towel lift. Includes National Lottery predictions from Craig Charles and H from Steps.

Also available in 3D Braille for visually-impaired viewers.

8:00 Merman Bay

Comprehensive human soap opera whose plot can only be understood by mermen or mermaids called Darwin, Kevin, Bea or Khyber.

56. Wayne finds the secret of his cheater's long lost girlfriend, where they can actually know who's the betrayer.

Contains alternative audio track: the 2189576666666646239684375923 456823746984725892347th episode of Mah Hair from ITV2,

9:00 Goldfish Bay

Soap opera aimed at domestic goldfish with a two-second memory span, featuring a comprehensive plot recap every 1.5 seconds. Producer Bubble Bobble

10:00 Mah Hair

Rude teen sitcom.

5468432121384. Some guy has a threesome. Literally.

7:00 Donor Brother

Ridiculous Big Brother edition styled after The Big Donor Show, featuring 13 contestants with donor problems.

8:00 MBC News Desk

Tonight: Sex abuse made at some guy's home, Chechen victims in Kyrgyzstan are in grave danger, and KBS bans Psy's new hit single Gentleman after hacking the trashbat.co.ck website.

9:00 Undercover Designer Dogs

I mean, seriously, you cannot make this shit up....

10:00 MBC News Desk

Channel 4 merges with Korean broadcaster MBC to make a British version of MBC News Desk for British viewers.